Shock

This story bothers me, as many do. Man kills his wife, mother in law, three children, and himself, despondent over financial matters.

What do we think at first? Selfish. Should have done himself first. Those poor children! Tragic. And over money? Most people don't have money, but they live. Should have sought help. Talked to a bartender. Anything.

Second thought? A Southern California thing, maybe? No, but suburban angst anyway. Typical unstable American with a gun. 45 years old, an unstable age.

Then details emerge: Made a lot of money, then lost it. Fired for emotional instability. Couldn't recoup, things began to unravel. More details emerge: Family names.

As with many new neighbors around here, the family were from India. Immigrants riding the American wealth rocket. Good for them, an accomplishment. If it weren't for India, my industry would be much slower: Less talent at greater expense. The country as a whole benefits from the influx of legal, focused, educated workers.

The downside: Culture shock. It is enormously difficult to transplant your life across the globe. American society, as open as we think it is, can be a cold and scary place to people from other cultural climates. The badge of success, a large house in the suburbs, is also a castle, a prison. Upper middle class American neighborhoods are sterile, quiet places. If you are not plugged in somewhere -- church or temple, athletics, something -- a terrible isolation can settle like a blanket.

Isolation kills.

This tragedy may have been a symptom of culture shock, of global displacement, of the increasing economic interdependence that is transforming every corner of the planet. Even as tensions rise between countries, so they are rising within the lives of individuals. As the third, fourth, fifth generation descended of people who already underwent these transformations, many of us Americans can find it difficult to understand or be sympathetic. I don't think the tensions can be avoided, and if a person's culture or personality discourages seeking mental health assistance, some of the tragedies may be unavoidable too.

So I don't have an answer. But at least we can look on without judgment, but instead with love, and hope that next time, love will win before anger and fear take their toll.