Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Post That's Not About Me

I want to know who is so STUPID, and so CHEAP, that they can’t be bothered keeping a damn ice scraper in their truck. I know this guy who found his truck frozen over this morning and lost patience waiting for the defroster and started driving to work even though he couldn’t see ANYTHING. All windows were white and opaque. Oh, except for a little teeny tiny hole the defroster made at the base of the windshield. So he tore down his little side street with his chin on the dashboard and then at the stop sign, had to sit there awhile because he couldn’t see whether or not any traffic was coming. Couldn’t roll down the windows because they were frozen stuck. What a DORK. Finally after working the button back and forth his driver side window dropped a crack and he could see when the way was clear. When he went, he nearly forced a family coming the other way into the trees because his big-ass truck couldn’t quite make the turn in just the one narrow-ass lane. Down the road he barreled, hunched over like he was dodging bullets, missing mailboxes on the one side and oncoming traffic on the other by fractions of an inch. People at intersections stared at him, wondering what sort of idiot doesn’t scrape his windows. He didn’t stop in the merging lane at the boulevard, either. Not that anyone should if there’s any chance of merging into traffic. But this IDIOT couldn’t see the traffic to merge into. So he just went, relying on innate abilities and instincts that defy a proper description. Perhaps by then the frost had thinned out somewhat and he could actually see out, though no one could see in. And he wasn’t even wearing a damn seat belt. Must be some sort of juvenile REBEL that way. Gawd. Who would do this?

7 comments:

AJ said...

For a post that's not about you, you sure did know an awful lot about that driver's circumstances.

[head shakes back and forth]

I'm just glad I live on the opposite side of the continent. ;-)

Paula said...

Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Love this.

Cody Bones said...

Going without a scraper??? Here in Chicago, we would probably beat him for being stupid. Or elect him Governor. One of the two most likely

Crys said...

this is why humans are bad

O' Tim said...

"Perhaps by then the frost had thinned out somewhat and he could actually see out, though no one could see in. And he wasn’t even wearing a damn seat belt."

Yeah, I kinda had an E.G. Marshall in Twelve Angry Men moment with that one, dude.

Don said...

For not wearing a seatbelt? Does I also now gotta wear a helmet when I ride a bicycle? I mean he.

Anonymous said...

I've done this, but just in my regular car, so I wasn't quite so much of a menace.

One particularly nerdy frosty morning, however, I scraped my front and back windows with my library card. It worked pretty well.