They call it a midlife crisis and turn it into a joke about blondes and sports cars and gold necklaces but doesn't it really make perfect sense that after a half century of building a life, one would reach a point where revisiting the path is simply inescapable? No one has made it to fifty and not done as much. Many just do it quietly, and they use unemployment or empty nest or time to write as the new lens through which to refocus on the remaining life yet to build. I'll do that too, real soon. 2009 is the year for hope and change. The question, for all of us really, is after that leap into the dark, was it off the high dive, and is there any water in the pool?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Not off the rails just yet
They call it a midlife crisis and turn it into a joke about blondes and sports cars and gold necklaces but doesn't it really make perfect sense that after a half century of building a life, one would reach a point where revisiting the path is simply inescapable? No one has made it to fifty and not done as much. Many just do it quietly, and they use unemployment or empty nest or time to write as the new lens through which to refocus on the remaining life yet to build. I'll do that too, real soon. 2009 is the year for hope and change. The question, for all of us really, is after that leap into the dark, was it off the high dive, and is there any water in the pool?
Monday, December 29, 2008
Confusion of Faith
Slow week: No one in the office, no one asking questions, no one expecting results. So I'm multislacking.
Wrote the following to Taranto wrt his quibbling over points made in debate by fellow non-believers but presumably politically non-aligned Christopher Hitchens and Heather Mac Donald (why else would he distance himself from them?). He writes about it at the bottom of today's BotW.
Summary quote from Mac Donald:
Wrote the following to Taranto wrt his quibbling over points made in debate by fellow non-believers but presumably politically non-aligned Christopher Hitchens and Heather Mac Donald (why else would he distance himself from them?). He writes about it at the bottom of today's BotW.
Summary quote from Mac Donald:
Do modern Christians still believe with the same fervor as in the past all those unyielding doctrines of eternal damnation for the unbaptised and unconverted? They sure don't act as if they do. If they really were convinced that their friends, co-workers, neighbors, and in-laws were going to hell because they possessed the wrong or no religious belief, I would think that the knowledge would be unbearable. Christians surely see that most of their wrong-believing personal acquaintances are just as moral and deserving as themselves. How, then, do they live with the knowledge that their friends and loved ones face an eternity of torment?She goes on to suggest this conundrum as evidence of a widespread cognitive dissonance. Taranto thinks she's a little bonkers for regarding eternal damnation following the Last Judgment as an empirical matter. I don't.
Mr Taranto,I stretched a little here. My grandmother didn't really have family members who were believers, unless you include a temporary step-grandchild or two, but the point was more important than strict accuracy. Oh, I could have picked another example, but that would take more time. Hey, I'm busy here!
You are gently pulling Heather MacDonald's leg (and those of your readers) when criticizing her points. Your subtle sense of humor is at work here. I have to conclude this because even what little of her positions you have provided make good sense.
Obviously there will never be experimental evidence of a Last Judgment, so referring to its results as empirical could be described as inaccurate. But it is potentially so to those who truly believe in it. She is therefore asking of believers to own up to their beliefs: Either all your cherished friends and family who do not believe will be forever punished at the end-time, or you don't really believe what you say you do. If the former, you either don't care about their inevitable torment, or are pretending you don't. If the latter, you are being dishonest. Since very few people who are not sociopaths really don't care about the pain and suffering of loved ones, it's sensible for her to conclude that many, perhaps most, people of professed faith are to a degree lying to themselves.
Since you don't highlight this as the fundamental point of disagreement, it seems you are quibbling over whether or not after-life results could ever be verified experimentally. Obviously they could not if there is no afterlife, but it is a valid point for discussing the perspective of those who believe there is. That's why I think you're quibbling, with a bit of tongue in cheek.
By the way, she's right. My grandmother died without ever professing faith, yet those of her family who believed in faith as the escape route from everlasting torment mourned only her passing, and not at all her presumed fate. It would be ridiculously cruel for me to conclude they were indifferent to her suffering. Like most people who profess belief outwardly, in their hearts they just didn't believe in it.
Solid Rubber for Outdoor Erection Work
So I'm shopping for solid insert tubes for my yard cart. Replacement non-pneumatic inner tubes that don't require air. Well, the tires are always going flat. I don't know, I use my yard cart in the yard and maybe it wasn't designed for that.
Took a lot of searching but I found me some. At a place called CupidsRabbit dot com.
Rabbit vibrators, condoms, constriction loops, erection aids, romance games, toys. Do I want to know why this place also sells solid non-pneumatic 26 x 2.125 inner tubes?
Actually, yes, but no, I'll go ahead and get my inner tubes from the medical supply place. Evidently, if I want inner tubes that can withstand a weed-filled yard, I need to get them from wheelchair supply. I guess if I want air-filled tires so my wheelchair rides nice and smooth, I have to go to garden cart supply for that.
What the hell is a rabbit vibrator?
Took a lot of searching but I found me some. At a place called CupidsRabbit dot com.
Rabbit vibrators, condoms, constriction loops, erection aids, romance games, toys. Do I want to know why this place also sells solid non-pneumatic 26 x 2.125 inner tubes?
Actually, yes, but no, I'll go ahead and get my inner tubes from the medical supply place. Evidently, if I want inner tubes that can withstand a weed-filled yard, I need to get them from wheelchair supply. I guess if I want air-filled tires so my wheelchair rides nice and smooth, I have to go to garden cart supply for that.
What the hell is a rabbit vibrator?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Old Man in Pajamas
I spent my evening opening and logging mailed requests with donations for the troop to pick up retired Christmas trees, envelope after envelope, spreadsheet entry after spreadsheet entry, the laughter and conversation drifting down the stairs of teenaged kids who were fat and happy on pizza and DVDs and were talking, because they didn't know an adult was silently working at the bottom of the stairs, about first orgasms and the phenomenon of blue balls (these were boys AND girls). Finally the horrible, horrible thought occurred to me that I might hear my own son's voice enter into this conversation and I hastily shut down and went off to bed. I lay there a little while reading a book when I suddenly had the urge to write something, anything, notes for a story, a blog post, whatever, and rather than stare at the ceiling contemplating the essential practicality of keeping a notebook by the bedside (a very good habit I've never approached having), I got up to retrieve my laptop from the table at the bottom of the stairs. My bed clothes are just a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, unless it's too warm for a t-shirt, but I figured since no one had come downstairs for over an hour while I was working, what were the odds that they would do so while I was out there just long enough to get something?
What WERE the odds? Miz Liz heard me explaining to some teenaged kid I don't even know what cupboard to find the cups in, and was chortling most energetically when I came back to bed, wearing just a t-shirt and these droopy old sweetheart boxers with the faded hearts and X's and O's.
What WERE the odds? Miz Liz heard me explaining to some teenaged kid I don't even know what cupboard to find the cups in, and was chortling most energetically when I came back to bed, wearing just a t-shirt and these droopy old sweetheart boxers with the faded hearts and X's and O's.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I wish I had archer's brain
I mean, maybe I don't have a sense of humor right now because I'm stuck in a mid-evening phone conference which is mostly in Japanese and thus forcing me to listen without comprehension for that sudden fiercely-inflected interrogative "Don?" that signals a requirement on my part to be alert and knowledgeable and confident but never mind that, even if I carved out a few hours' time and lubricated it with one of my birthday bottles of Patrón there is no way I could make this article about new Christmas children's books that are based on global-warmism any funnier or more satirical than it is, unintentionally, all on its own. They've got it all:
Turn off lights to save polar bears!
Santa as the Global-warming Grinch!
Grand Grifter Gore!
Note, there's nothing wrong with turning out lights and saving energy. I was taught to do that as a kid. But unproven theories that more and more scientists are decrying as bad science and premature alarmism (I'm talking anthropogenic global warming here) is a hilarious way to get a book sold. Hey, it can work, and I wanna be an author too, and we all respect a well-run con game. But geez. I only wish I had the brain right now to expand on the humor in it.
* * *
Speakin' a humor, I think it's hilarious that we tell our large and very demanding (and very quality-driven, please buy their products) customer that "engineering teams" say this or are doing that, when by "engineering teams" we really mean "that guy over in the cubicle by the wall who just got out of college."
(Yes, yes, there are engineering women but let's face it, the females in this profession usually end up in management.)
* * *
All three-part blog posts need a third part, so now I'm writing it. I asked a bunch of fellow anthropogenic-global-warming skeptics why it always seemed to be engineers who were not only conservatively libertarian-minded but skeptical about such crowd-pleasers as anthropogenic global warming and the answer was the very obvious, "Because engineers know how to read and analyze data." Oh. Yeah. I guess one could allege as much.
Turn off lights to save polar bears!
Santa as the Global-warming Grinch!
Grand Grifter Gore!
Note, there's nothing wrong with turning out lights and saving energy. I was taught to do that as a kid. But unproven theories that more and more scientists are decrying as bad science and premature alarmism (I'm talking anthropogenic global warming here) is a hilarious way to get a book sold. Hey, it can work, and I wanna be an author too, and we all respect a well-run con game. But geez. I only wish I had the brain right now to expand on the humor in it.
* * *
Speakin' a humor, I think it's hilarious that we tell our large and very demanding (and very quality-driven, please buy their products) customer that "engineering teams" say this or are doing that, when by "engineering teams" we really mean "that guy over in the cubicle by the wall who just got out of college."
(Yes, yes, there are engineering women but let's face it, the females in this profession usually end up in management.)
* * *
All three-part blog posts need a third part, so now I'm writing it. I asked a bunch of fellow anthropogenic-global-warming skeptics why it always seemed to be engineers who were not only conservatively libertarian-minded but skeptical about such crowd-pleasers as anthropogenic global warming and the answer was the very obvious, "Because engineers know how to read and analyze data." Oh. Yeah. I guess one could allege as much.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Toy
For a long time Blogrolling has been broken. I finally got around to trashing it and using the Blogger blog roll widget. Created the list fresh from scratch. Bruised egos are welcome to drop hints.
Here's a weird thing. All the Blogger blogs have the Blogger favicon next to them instead of whatever favicon the blogger has implemented. This is because if you approach the Blogger blog from a certain direction, the Blogger favicon is the only one you will see. I figured that out awhile ago. But I don't remember what I figured out, or why, or how, or (again) what, so just drop it, huh? Geez.
Just before I did, or maybe while I was doing it, I found my Blogrolling blog roll was gone and my old blog roll from a couple years ago was in its place, full of blogs long dead, moribund, or banished. That was weird and unsettling. Got rid of that list right quick.
What a tiny box we live in, full of tiny details, when we decide to be a blogger. Or any other sort of hobbyist. Yes, I said hobbyist. What do you think we are, writers?
Here's a weird thing. All the Blogger blogs have the Blogger favicon next to them instead of whatever favicon the blogger has implemented. This is because if you approach the Blogger blog from a certain direction, the Blogger favicon is the only one you will see. I figured that out awhile ago. But I don't remember what I figured out, or why, or how, or (again) what, so just drop it, huh? Geez.
Just before I did, or maybe while I was doing it, I found my Blogrolling blog roll was gone and my old blog roll from a couple years ago was in its place, full of blogs long dead, moribund, or banished. That was weird and unsettling. Got rid of that list right quick.
What a tiny box we live in, full of tiny details, when we decide to be a blogger. Or any other sort of hobbyist. Yes, I said hobbyist. What do you think we are, writers?
Ranting because I Looked At the News
Two towns I'm fond of are on the verge of insolvency.
More California Towns Face Bankruptcy
The County can't help. The State can't help. They're all learning the same hard lesson, and on a much larger scale. Let me say it boldly:
IT'S REALLY FUCKING STUPID TO BUILD A BIG-ASS GOVERNMENT ON TAXATION OF BUSINESS INCOME
Simple answer why: Business cycles, income, and tax revenue go down as readily as they go up. Big-ass government assembled by nanny-state do-gooders who think free-for-all government programs are the solution to Mankind's problems cannot be shrunk once it is grown without throwing all the worthless good-for-nothing(meant with the greatest affection) citizens and others who have come to depend on it out into the freezing cold street. Where, the so-called liberal defenders of free-for-all government programs warn, they will turn to crime.
This highlights the difference between Liberals and Conservatives. Liberals think the poor are criminals in waiting if we don't pay them off with bogus programs to set them on their feet that no one ever follows up on anyway. Conservatives think the poor are middle-class people in waiting who simply need all those goddamn regulations that make employment, housing and food so hard to get swept out of the way. (All right, Conservatives also think of the poor as human resources that could be more affordable, i.e. slave labor that would be turning the cranks as soon as all minimum wage laws were set aside but hey, what do you want? Criminals in waiting, or workers that can compete with China?)
Rio Vista I haven't been to much. It's generally on the way to somewhere else, and often as not across the river from the route I'm taking anyway. But Isleton is very cool. Small, but cool. Some abandoned buildings on the main drag that date back to the 1800s, a few bars and general stores that thrive during the Crawdad Festival, streets that are most picturesque when lined with large American motorcycles, a few lawns and fine old london plane and sycamore trees and of course the not-so-mighty Rio Sacramento drifting by across the levee (and occasionally over it).
I don't know what they have in expenses such that a downturn in business has to drive them to bankruptcy, but I bet it's a bunch of social niceness crap imposed by laws written by the usual cabal of nanny-state do-gooders up in the state capitol building. Some of whom might actually be Republicans, who knows.
But anyway, it's clear the time is coming for self-sufficiency. Depending on gov'ment (or anyone) to feed, clothe, house, educate, or protect you is a ba-a-ad idea. It's great when we can afford to take care of everyone. But this economic downturn is either going to
A) Provide the painful lesson that the gifts of government can easily be taken away;
or,
B) Provide the painful lesson that government that can't shrink into its income is destined to become less than worthless.
Are those the same thing? I'm forgetting the new taxes our RINO governor has in mind. What kind of IDIOT would ever think it's possible to tax your way to prosperity? Seriously. 'Splain that one to me. 'Splain to me how taking MORE money from the people who create wealth and dividing it up in programs to protect the people who don't from the consequences of not producing wealth will result in MORE prosperity. That makes sense to a point -- don't get me wrong -- if the money goes effectively to schools, kindy to university, because schools are underfunded (or administered so badly as to be effectively underfunded, whichever). But bah. That's about it. Welfare? Cut it. Prisons? End the drug war, establish drug rehab and interventionist self-esteem programs at a fraction of the cost, problem solved.
Oh, and another thing. Why the FUCK do we have people streaming illegally over the border to work out in the fields, while at the same time we have countless young people in the cities hanging about doing nothing but mutually masturbate in their little gang wars? Maybe if we killed off the welfare state, allowed licensed pharmacies to sell cannabis and coca derivatives at competitive prices, and started sending farm-work recruitment buses into 'hoods full of now-hungry people, we could solve THREE problems for the price of NONE. Just a thought.
Next: Suffrage for property owners only. (Just kidding.)
More California Towns Face Bankruptcy

IT'S REALLY FUCKING STUPID TO BUILD A BIG-ASS GOVERNMENT ON TAXATION OF BUSINESS INCOME
Simple answer why: Business cycles, income, and tax revenue go down as readily as they go up. Big-ass government assembled by nanny-state do-gooders who think free-for-all government programs are the solution to Mankind's problems cannot be shrunk once it is grown without throwing all the worthless good-for-nothing(meant with the greatest affection) citizens and others who have come to depend on it out into the freezing cold street. Where, the so-called liberal defenders of free-for-all government programs warn, they will turn to crime.

Rio Vista I haven't been to much. It's generally on the way to somewhere else, and often as not across the river from the route I'm taking anyway. But Isleton is very cool. Small, but cool. Some abandoned buildings on the main drag that date back to the 1800s, a few bars and general stores that thrive during the Crawdad Festival, streets that are most picturesque when lined with large American motorcycles, a few lawns and fine old london plane and sycamore trees and of course the not-so-mighty Rio Sacramento drifting by across the levee (and occasionally over it).

But anyway, it's clear the time is coming for self-sufficiency. Depending on gov'ment (or anyone) to feed, clothe, house, educate, or protect you is a ba-a-ad idea. It's great when we can afford to take care of everyone. But this economic downturn is either going to
A) Provide the painful lesson that the gifts of government can easily be taken away;
or,
B) Provide the painful lesson that government that can't shrink into its income is destined to become less than worthless.
Are those the same thing? I'm forgetting the new taxes our RINO governor has in mind. What kind of IDIOT would ever think it's possible to tax your way to prosperity? Seriously. 'Splain that one to me. 'Splain to me how taking MORE money from the people who create wealth and dividing it up in programs to protect the people who don't from the consequences of not producing wealth will result in MORE prosperity. That makes sense to a point -- don't get me wrong -- if the money goes effectively to schools, kindy to university, because schools are underfunded (or administered so badly as to be effectively underfunded, whichever). But bah. That's about it. Welfare? Cut it. Prisons? End the drug war, establish drug rehab and interventionist self-esteem programs at a fraction of the cost, problem solved.

Next: Suffrage for property owners only. (Just kidding.)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
A Post That's Not About Me
I want to know who is so STUPID, and so CHEAP, that they can’t be bothered keeping a damn ice scraper in their truck. I know this guy who found his truck frozen over this morning and lost patience waiting for the defroster and started driving to work even though he couldn’t see ANYTHING. All windows were white and opaque. Oh, except for a little teeny tiny hole the defroster made at the base of the windshield. So he tore down his little side street with his chin on the dashboard and then at the stop sign, had to sit there awhile because he couldn’t see whether or not any traffic was coming. Couldn’t roll down the windows because they were frozen stuck. What a DORK. Finally after working the button back and forth his driver side window dropped a crack and he could see when the way was clear. When he went, he nearly forced a family coming the other way into the trees because his big-ass truck couldn’t quite make the turn in just the one narrow-ass lane. Down the road he barreled, hunched over like he was dodging bullets, missing mailboxes on the one side and oncoming traffic on the other by fractions of an inch. People at intersections stared at him, wondering what sort of idiot doesn’t scrape his windows. He didn’t stop in the merging lane at the boulevard, either. Not that anyone should if there’s any chance of merging into traffic. But this IDIOT couldn’t see the traffic to merge into. So he just went, relying on innate abilities and instincts that defy a proper description. Perhaps by then the frost had thinned out somewhat and he could actually see out, though no one could see in. And he wasn’t even wearing a damn seat belt. Must be some sort of juvenile REBEL that way. Gawd. Who would do this?
Monday, December 15, 2008
End the War on Drugs
I guess I'll never be a liberal as defined by the American media (and, in my experience, most commenters, bloggers, etc). When moved to comment on the issues of the day, I trend towards the conservative side. Not to follow an agenda, however; that's simply the way I usually roll when inspired to react.
So anyway, here's a reminder to folks that us bad guys -- conservatives, Republicans, and the Wall Street Journal -- can actually be on the right side of things now and then, with this hair-raising lead:
So anyway, here's a reminder to folks that us bad guys -- conservatives, Republicans, and the Wall Street Journal -- can actually be on the right side of things now and then, with this hair-raising lead:
Of all the casualties claimed by the U.S. "war on drugs" in Latin America, perhaps none so fully captures its senselessness and injustice as the 2001 CIA-directed killing of Christian missionary Veronica Bowers and her daughter Charity in Peru. -- WSJ, 12/14/08More from us Kool-Aid® guzzling haters on the subject here: Let's End Drug Prohibition.
Do You Hear What I Hear
I'm managing the fundraiser where we set up a table in front of the grocery store and solicit signups to come pick up people's Christmas trees after the season. Raises money for Scouts, helps the environment, blah blah. All weekend every two hours I'd go facilitate shift changes, make sure everyone does their hours, take care of problems, keep the morale up, and generally coordinate the whole thing over a period of two months with my mad Excel skilz.
I had stuff in the back of my truck and had locked it in so I showed up late and it was raining and I was fumbling with the keys. There are three keys that look like the one for the camper shell. Why the hell are there three keys? I don't even know what the other two are for. And they all look the same. I once offered to take them off but that idea got cut off right quick. Wife hates when people mess with her keys.
DO NOT touch the keys, I was told. Leave them there.
Okay, okay, whatever, I just don't know which is which.
Let me see, she said, and found the right one.
Fine, but what if I'm out somewhere and it's raining, how the hell am I supposed to know which is which but FINE, WHATEVER.
So this weekend I was out there somewhere and it was raining and I had to fumble with these three keys.
One. No.
Two. No.
"Oh, you God damn motherfuckers," I said out loud.
"Don?"
I turned. There was a parent and his young Scout, a fresh-faced eleven year old kid in uniform, ready to do his part to raise funds for the Troop.
Instant demeanor change, hearty greetings all around, let's get going, we set up, they got to work. They did a manful job of ignoring my vehement profanity. But, you know. What a schmuck, huh?
I had stuff in the back of my truck and had locked it in so I showed up late and it was raining and I was fumbling with the keys. There are three keys that look like the one for the camper shell. Why the hell are there three keys? I don't even know what the other two are for. And they all look the same. I once offered to take them off but that idea got cut off right quick. Wife hates when people mess with her keys.
DO NOT touch the keys, I was told. Leave them there.
Okay, okay, whatever, I just don't know which is which.
Let me see, she said, and found the right one.
Fine, but what if I'm out somewhere and it's raining, how the hell am I supposed to know which is which but FINE, WHATEVER.
So this weekend I was out there somewhere and it was raining and I had to fumble with these three keys.
One. No.
Two. No.
"Oh, you God damn motherfuckers," I said out loud.
"Don?"
I turned. There was a parent and his young Scout, a fresh-faced eleven year old kid in uniform, ready to do his part to raise funds for the Troop.
Instant demeanor change, hearty greetings all around, let's get going, we set up, they got to work. They did a manful job of ignoring my vehement profanity. But, you know. What a schmuck, huh?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Out of the Cold
There is a bittersweet moment when shopping for my loved ones. Especially at Christmas.
I am a Christmas grouch. Life never runs smoothly and there’s never enough time and to have this demanding season thrown in the middle of it annoys me. I’d rather just keep to routine. But beneath the commercialism and consumerism and short-lived attempts at recalling some ancient Middle Eastern mythology there is some real cheer and eventually it finds me and I start to enter into the spirit.
I’m not sure what the spirit is. As described in the Dickens story, it is the happy fun pagan element of Yuletide, which Scrooge, the atheistic grandchild of dour Puritans who regarded Christmas as un-Christian, could not in his coldness abide. The Spirit of Christmas was the new unfolding merging of ancient traditions of social order reversal –- a-wassailing we will go -– treat us or else –- with the post-Puritan Victorian sense of sentimental Christian charity. Not a bad thing altogether, but I don’t know how much of that applies to Christmas today.
Gawd, I think way too damn much.
Anyway, so I go to the stores and I start casting about for material ways to show my love. This is a sickness but so many of us have it there’s no point seeking a cure. Not really knowing how to show my love in earthy daily ways that forge strong bonds, I reflexively, and probably as a typical male and/or consumer-culture citizen, put store in the giving of gifts or more precisely, the focused providing of wealth. I give not just things, but things the person given to will really enjoy having.
And in that moment of acquiring some desirable object or other, of imagining the moment when it becomes a part of and enriches the life of someone I love, my heart fills, and I’m standing there in an aisle at Best Buy surrounded by clamshell-encased technology with a water balloon in my chest about to explode and pink edges forming in my eyes.
But it passes. Suppression of emotion must be a survival trait: It happens so readily and without a thought.
It’s followed by a sort of peace -– mission accomplished but to a much greater degree, a general thankfulness that I am in a position to celebrate the season more or less as everyone else does, especially if I don’t struggle with it. My heart goes out to those who cannot – the poor, and the unloved, and to those who are losing their jobs. Sure, you could say that’s the spirit, or part of it. But that isn’t seasonal, really. I can afford a day off and an extra meal and a shiny gizmo or two. That isn’t seasonal either. I’m thankful all the time. Maybe a little bit more now, because I can duck out of the cold. But I still think of children who never really get presents. It all makes for a complex emotional cocktail. What do you do with it?
I am a Christmas grouch. Life never runs smoothly and there’s never enough time and to have this demanding season thrown in the middle of it annoys me. I’d rather just keep to routine. But beneath the commercialism and consumerism and short-lived attempts at recalling some ancient Middle Eastern mythology there is some real cheer and eventually it finds me and I start to enter into the spirit.
I’m not sure what the spirit is. As described in the Dickens story, it is the happy fun pagan element of Yuletide, which Scrooge, the atheistic grandchild of dour Puritans who regarded Christmas as un-Christian, could not in his coldness abide. The Spirit of Christmas was the new unfolding merging of ancient traditions of social order reversal –- a-wassailing we will go -– treat us or else –- with the post-Puritan Victorian sense of sentimental Christian charity. Not a bad thing altogether, but I don’t know how much of that applies to Christmas today.
Gawd, I think way too damn much.
Anyway, so I go to the stores and I start casting about for material ways to show my love. This is a sickness but so many of us have it there’s no point seeking a cure. Not really knowing how to show my love in earthy daily ways that forge strong bonds, I reflexively, and probably as a typical male and/or consumer-culture citizen, put store in the giving of gifts or more precisely, the focused providing of wealth. I give not just things, but things the person given to will really enjoy having.
And in that moment of acquiring some desirable object or other, of imagining the moment when it becomes a part of and enriches the life of someone I love, my heart fills, and I’m standing there in an aisle at Best Buy surrounded by clamshell-encased technology with a water balloon in my chest about to explode and pink edges forming in my eyes.
But it passes. Suppression of emotion must be a survival trait: It happens so readily and without a thought.
It’s followed by a sort of peace -– mission accomplished but to a much greater degree, a general thankfulness that I am in a position to celebrate the season more or less as everyone else does, especially if I don’t struggle with it. My heart goes out to those who cannot – the poor, and the unloved, and to those who are losing their jobs. Sure, you could say that’s the spirit, or part of it. But that isn’t seasonal, really. I can afford a day off and an extra meal and a shiny gizmo or two. That isn’t seasonal either. I’m thankful all the time. Maybe a little bit more now, because I can duck out of the cold. But I still think of children who never really get presents. It all makes for a complex emotional cocktail. What do you do with it?
Friday, December 12, 2008
Secretariat
I love this woman. And we're trading her in for ... Hillary Clinton? Granted, Mr. Hope und Change, given his political debts, doesn't have a lot to work with ...
One thing about consciously becoming nonreligious after many years of giving it a go is I have grown comfortable not believing in the myths that hold the larger population in thrall. For example, that the Bush team leaves us weaker and the world in a worse state ... That's right up there with the Three Wise Men following the Star of Bethlehem. Wait and see.
One thing about consciously becoming nonreligious after many years of giving it a go is I have grown comfortable not believing in the myths that hold the larger population in thrall. For example, that the Bush team leaves us weaker and the world in a worse state ... That's right up there with the Three Wise Men following the Star of Bethlehem. Wait and see.
Drive Em Out
So on the way home last night I was listening to NPR as I usually do and some gasbag was saying that if we let the Big Three automakers go under, that will also hurt the entire supply chain, which is huge, and that in turn will drag down the foreign makers who build cars here.
And this utter idiocy was left unchallenged by the journalist. Where the fuck do they get journalists these days?
One of the things that has steamed me up the most since I became a grownup and got a job in a real industry is that the major forces driving this world -- the making of policy and the analysis and reporting of same -- is left to lawyers and journalists and the occasional retired college professor. People in other words with no real understanding of how A leads to B leads to C. And so we are getting fuckeder and fuckeder every passing year.
Don't get me wrong. If GM and Chrysler go into bankruptcy, that will be very bad. The ripples will tsunami across the landscape and tear vast holes in the banks and houses and factories and everything else in the way. But the pain will be relatively short-lived -- a few years maybe -- as what's left of industry downsizes and retools and reconfigures and starts hiring again (here's an example of the sort of brilliance GM's failure will make room for). In contrast how the fuck long will the country be burdened with the unintended consequences of an unimaginably huge bailout? We'll essentially be rewarding an old-line 20th Century industry for fucking around in their old-line 20th Century way. They'll forget the scare and go back and do things the same way. Well, except for the oversight provided by, ahem, Congress. If you think that will help, omigod, go rent a brain, will you? Try it out, see if you like it.
I also recall hearing of a contention by the Ford guy, who doesn't really NEED the money, that if the other two go down, then he will need some money too. Well, a) no fucking duh, as CEO he owes it to his stockholders and employees to see to it that a gift given to their competitors comes to them as well, and yet otherwise b) that's bullshit, because it will not only mean he suddenly has a less competitive market to play in but a shitload of experienced and desperate auto workers and cut-rate factories available to go play in it with. Sounds like good times to me.
Did I mention auto workers? Oh, those poor fuckers. It took me two degrees and ten years of experience to make a salary comparable to your average union quarter panel installer and U-joint adjuster. Maybe twenty, I don't know. Fuck em. A major reason we're in this mess -- not the short term mess created by those creative wizards on Wall St but the longer term mess of steadily decreasing American industrial output and the massive strategic and economic Damocletian sword it represents -- is that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch the gravy train we leapt aboard after WWII, and our workers just aren't worth as much more than the rest of the world's as they used to be.
Oo, what a sentence. What meant: As the competing ladders of economic growth lurch upwards, lower costs elsewhere make our workers' entitlements unaffordable. That goes double for the non-workers' entitlements, but I'm not getting into the welfare state today. Seems a bad time of year for that particular rant.
But it is a good time of year for redemption. I offer a case in point, the lovely and talented Carly Fiorina, who lost her job after flying H-P a little too close to the ground but today has some good things to say about the auto company bailout: CEOs seeking bailouts should be willing to resign.
And this utter idiocy was left unchallenged by the journalist. Where the fuck do they get journalists these days?
One of the things that has steamed me up the most since I became a grownup and got a job in a real industry is that the major forces driving this world -- the making of policy and the analysis and reporting of same -- is left to lawyers and journalists and the occasional retired college professor. People in other words with no real understanding of how A leads to B leads to C. And so we are getting fuckeder and fuckeder every passing year.
Don't get me wrong. If GM and Chrysler go into bankruptcy, that will be very bad. The ripples will tsunami across the landscape and tear vast holes in the banks and houses and factories and everything else in the way. But the pain will be relatively short-lived -- a few years maybe -- as what's left of industry downsizes and retools and reconfigures and starts hiring again (here's an example of the sort of brilliance GM's failure will make room for). In contrast how the fuck long will the country be burdened with the unintended consequences of an unimaginably huge bailout? We'll essentially be rewarding an old-line 20th Century industry for fucking around in their old-line 20th Century way. They'll forget the scare and go back and do things the same way. Well, except for the oversight provided by, ahem, Congress. If you think that will help, omigod, go rent a brain, will you? Try it out, see if you like it.
I also recall hearing of a contention by the Ford guy, who doesn't really NEED the money, that if the other two go down, then he will need some money too. Well, a) no fucking duh, as CEO he owes it to his stockholders and employees to see to it that a gift given to their competitors comes to them as well, and yet otherwise b) that's bullshit, because it will not only mean he suddenly has a less competitive market to play in but a shitload of experienced and desperate auto workers and cut-rate factories available to go play in it with. Sounds like good times to me.
Did I mention auto workers? Oh, those poor fuckers. It took me two degrees and ten years of experience to make a salary comparable to your average union quarter panel installer and U-joint adjuster. Maybe twenty, I don't know. Fuck em. A major reason we're in this mess -- not the short term mess created by those creative wizards on Wall St but the longer term mess of steadily decreasing American industrial output and the massive strategic and economic Damocletian sword it represents -- is that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch the gravy train we leapt aboard after WWII, and our workers just aren't worth as much more than the rest of the world's as they used to be.
Oo, what a sentence. What meant: As the competing ladders of economic growth lurch upwards, lower costs elsewhere make our workers' entitlements unaffordable. That goes double for the non-workers' entitlements, but I'm not getting into the welfare state today. Seems a bad time of year for that particular rant.
But it is a good time of year for redemption. I offer a case in point, the lovely and talented Carly Fiorina, who lost her job after flying H-P a little too close to the ground but today has some good things to say about the auto company bailout: CEOs seeking bailouts should be willing to resign.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Silicon Happy Cake
Not sure where it came from.
Dropped into my lunch from an obscure pile of unintentional business trip souvenirs? A hand me down from the lady who owns the flower shop?
It is quite the incongruous mix of sensual pleasures: It looks like Play-Do, yet tastes like Play-Do, while in contrast it has the fine texture of dry Play-Do.
I am comforted to know I can rely on the uncompromising standards of Chinese food product manufacturing and quality assurance.
Just another deep pleasure in the day to day.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Shoes Without a Soul
The right rear made a horrible grinding noise and tended to lock up, especially on wet roads. We’re already getting sued for a rear-ender, we don’t need that to happen again, and the brake guy told me a year ago the drum was just about at the end of its life, so I figured, fuck it, let’s have a look. Raised the truck, took the wheel off, got a good grip on the drum and pulled. Pulled real hard.
Pulled for two days. Finally it came off in a clatter of shoes and clips and springs bent awry by the awesome forces I applied. Yes, I had backed off the shoes. Undid the little adjuster thing all the way. That puppy was stuck, baby. Yet when I looked at the inner workings, no discernible damage. WTF? I don’t even know why they were grinding.
But the machine shop says the drum is tweaked and I need a new one. No surprise except I probably tweaked it taking it off. Whatev. There’s no skimping on brakes. Especially if it’s the vehicle my kid drives.
All that was just to explain the black smudges on my fingers. Now we change the subject to symphonic heavy metal hybridization and a quick image search to find out what sort of creature has such a euphonious voice and, as I said once before under similar circumstances but can’t find the post right now, oh ... my ...
Pulled for two days. Finally it came off in a clatter of shoes and clips and springs bent awry by the awesome forces I applied. Yes, I had backed off the shoes. Undid the little adjuster thing all the way. That puppy was stuck, baby. Yet when I looked at the inner workings, no discernible damage. WTF? I don’t even know why they were grinding.
But the machine shop says the drum is tweaked and I need a new one. No surprise except I probably tweaked it taking it off. Whatev. There’s no skimping on brakes. Especially if it’s the vehicle my kid drives.
All that was just to explain the black smudges on my fingers. Now we change the subject to symphonic heavy metal hybridization and a quick image search to find out what sort of creature has such a euphonious voice and, as I said once before under similar circumstances but can’t find the post right now, oh ... my ...

Sunday, December 07, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Walls n Dolls
The wall hit me sometime yesterday morning. Or I hit the wall. But I wasn’t aware I was driving so it must have hit me. It was the wall between lives.
Over there is a real life. Over here a blog life. Down there a Facebook life. Also a LinkedIn life. Tried a MySpace life once but it was completely pointless. Second Life pissed me off, it was so stupid.
Blog life is for trapping occasional moments of brilliance. Drollery. Dumbery, whatever. Facebook for having a less coy link to friends and family so inclined. LinkedIn I maintain in case the 10% force reduction rumors that came out today turn out to be true. Not that there will be any jobs. But one has to give the appearance of trying.
Us irredeemable computer users with broken social lives are a funny lot.
Anyway I was having fun seeking out coworkers whom I’m kind of friends with who have Facebook lives. There are tens of thousands of people in the company, so browsing Facebook for a few I knew was sorta diverting. And I found a few. And I was going to go all friendly and happy and friends them and all that crap. And then I hit the wall.
Because there’s also Burning Man stuff on there. Whatever you’re into, if there are people in their thirties into it too, it will have a large and seriously programmed presence on the internet. And I saw myself on the verge of linking my Work friends with my Burn life and that set off a big loud proximity alarm.
Not that there isn’t a little overlap.
But I never told anyone I work with I went to Burning Man. I don’t need any of the people who have input into my job performance and job prospects and professional life in general picturing me in face paint and a clown wig and a pink tutu. No, I didn’t! But that’s sort of the image of the place. That and public sex (false) and unabashed nakedness (true) and an unconcerned indulgence in certain herbs and spices (um, yes).
It’s a lot more than that but the image in the minds of people who’ve given it between two and four minutes’ thought is not properly conducive to success in the corporate shark tank I swim in. Hence the separation. Hence the wall.
I hate that.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Okay. Next?
Didn't get much done yesterday and there's way too much to do to mess with this anymore. So this morning I madly wrote vaguely related test paragraphs and lots of notes. Since it turned into one of those adventures where all the little clues finally make sense at the very end, it needs more careful plotting and less ad hoc. Hence the note-writing. Of course, no amount of note-writing and fifth-quarter revisiting can change the fact it's an ad hoc hack through and through but that doesn't matter now. 'Tis the season to stress over a lot of other stuff and I can't wait any longer to get started. Wee hoo hah!
Friday, November 28, 2008
47k
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
For years we kept all the old soft cuddly toys and bassinet in our babies' cradle that their Grampa made, tucked away under a shelf in the garage.
Then Bailee found them and carried them away one by one and put them all over the yard.
Then she discovered she'd made a nice comfy place.
May this Thanksgiving holiday be full of soft cuddly toys you can put in your mouth, and a cozy cradle to curl up in at the end of the day.
Then Bailee found them and carried them away one by one and put them all over the yard.
Then she discovered she'd made a nice comfy place.
May this Thanksgiving holiday be full of soft cuddly toys you can put in your mouth, and a cozy cradle to curl up in at the end of the day.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
F O R D*
Victory in Iraq Day 22 Nov
A number of people shook off the infection of pessimism and the sand the media has been pouring on them long enough to notice something:
We won the war in Iraq.
Don't expect the President to mention it. Especially don't expect the President-elect. He was hired on the theory that he was right to oppose the war and to oppose fighting it properly (i.e. masterfully opposing the "surge" while congratulating the troops who effected it). He's not going to change his tune now, especially since it isn't necessary. He gets the incalculable benefits of the U.S. having removed a dictator and placed something like the rule of law and democracy in one of the world's political and economic centers of gravity, while keeping his anti-war reputation, and at a pretty low cost as wars go. I don't begrudge him this. Just sayin'.
Just to check my sanity (which some would argue I checked years ago and never bothered to reclaim) I did a quick Google News search on "Iraq". I saw headlines about:
Iraq to vote on security pact
Iraq warns of consequences of early US pullout
In Baghdad, debating post-US outlook
This and the usual tension of civil (i.e. largely unarmed) debate. Conspicuously absent: Relentless terror attacks, Iranian troops interfering, a never-ending civil war, mass unrest. Indeed, war correspondents are returning to find the place relatively peaceful.
"There's nothing going on. I'm with the 10th Mountain Division, and about half of the guys I'm with haven't fired their weapons on this tour and they've been here eight months. And the place we're at, South Baghdad, used to be one of the worst places in Iraq. And now there's nothing going on. I've been walking my feet off and haven't seen anything." -- Michael Yon
There is one dire warning from many quarters if the US pulls out to soon: Pirates. Yep, that's the worst we have to worry about now: That the Gulf will follow the example of the Horn of Africa. And we know it won't. Except when using them against each other, I'm sure even the Iranians and the Saudis would cooperate against piracy.
I had a reader in times past who continuously called me an idiot for refusing to see that the Bush / Cheney plan was really to drop Iraq into perpetual war so that Western oil companies would always have leverage in the Gulf. I'm glad to say he was wrong all along, and that I suspected it all along. Not that I would necessarily put it past Royal Dutch Shell to be pulling strings with blood-soaked fingers. But sometimes you have to look at the world as the executives do and not the writers of paperback thrillers.
In recent months I've also been glad to see emerging validation of my instinct not to be political fashionable, but to follow my own vision. I've never backed off my support for the Iraq War. I've learned of the lies and the subterfuge and the crimes committed by the Bush Administration, and I have no interest in defending them and I certainly wouldn't push for a pass on prosecution or, in the end, for amnesty. Fuck that. Crime is crime, and as we saw recently with Prop 8, clever use and abuse of the law can do real evil.
But looking at the big picture -- turning away for a moment from Bush's crimes just as we turn away from Lincoln's, from Wilson's, from Roosevelt's -- Saddam's regime was an octopus of caustic influence and direct interference, and something like what we did had to be done. 9/11 provided political capital that Bush had to spend, and overspend, quickly, and overspend it he did. "Squandered the good will," he did, and the world is a better place for it.
Now the once long shot candidate whose campaign was built in part on a strongly opposing view will take the reigns. In the see-saw world of a functional democracy this is no surprise. What's emerging as kind of a surprise is the centrist, indeed hawkish, aspect of his first cut at a cabinet. But only kind of a surprise: I've said all along Obama is damn smart.
We won the war in Iraq.
Don't expect the President to mention it. Especially don't expect the President-elect. He was hired on the theory that he was right to oppose the war and to oppose fighting it properly (i.e. masterfully opposing the "surge" while congratulating the troops who effected it). He's not going to change his tune now, especially since it isn't necessary. He gets the incalculable benefits of the U.S. having removed a dictator and placed something like the rule of law and democracy in one of the world's political and economic centers of gravity, while keeping his anti-war reputation, and at a pretty low cost as wars go. I don't begrudge him this. Just sayin'.
Just to check my sanity (which some would argue I checked years ago and never bothered to reclaim) I did a quick Google News search on "Iraq". I saw headlines about:
Iraq to vote on security pact
Iraq warns of consequences of early US pullout
In Baghdad, debating post-US outlook
This and the usual tension of civil (i.e. largely unarmed) debate. Conspicuously absent: Relentless terror attacks, Iranian troops interfering, a never-ending civil war, mass unrest. Indeed, war correspondents are returning to find the place relatively peaceful.
"There's nothing going on. I'm with the 10th Mountain Division, and about half of the guys I'm with haven't fired their weapons on this tour and they've been here eight months. And the place we're at, South Baghdad, used to be one of the worst places in Iraq. And now there's nothing going on. I've been walking my feet off and haven't seen anything." -- Michael Yon
There is one dire warning from many quarters if the US pulls out to soon: Pirates. Yep, that's the worst we have to worry about now: That the Gulf will follow the example of the Horn of Africa. And we know it won't. Except when using them against each other, I'm sure even the Iranians and the Saudis would cooperate against piracy.
I had a reader in times past who continuously called me an idiot for refusing to see that the Bush / Cheney plan was really to drop Iraq into perpetual war so that Western oil companies would always have leverage in the Gulf. I'm glad to say he was wrong all along, and that I suspected it all along. Not that I would necessarily put it past Royal Dutch Shell to be pulling strings with blood-soaked fingers. But sometimes you have to look at the world as the executives do and not the writers of paperback thrillers.
In recent months I've also been glad to see emerging validation of my instinct not to be political fashionable, but to follow my own vision. I've never backed off my support for the Iraq War. I've learned of the lies and the subterfuge and the crimes committed by the Bush Administration, and I have no interest in defending them and I certainly wouldn't push for a pass on prosecution or, in the end, for amnesty. Fuck that. Crime is crime, and as we saw recently with Prop 8, clever use and abuse of the law can do real evil.
But looking at the big picture -- turning away for a moment from Bush's crimes just as we turn away from Lincoln's, from Wilson's, from Roosevelt's -- Saddam's regime was an octopus of caustic influence and direct interference, and something like what we did had to be done. 9/11 provided political capital that Bush had to spend, and overspend, quickly, and overspend it he did. "Squandered the good will," he did, and the world is a better place for it.
Now the once long shot candidate whose campaign was built in part on a strongly opposing view will take the reigns. In the see-saw world of a functional democracy this is no surprise. What's emerging as kind of a surprise is the centrist, indeed hawkish, aspect of his first cut at a cabinet. But only kind of a surprise: I've said all along Obama is damn smart.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Stuff to Post While I Gear Up To Write Some More II
An amplified voice and roaring cheers hit the glass. I open the window to let them in. The football game everyone but me has gone to is underway. Cheers and whistles, game calls, the band brass drifting over trees and houses. Somewhere a dog barks, and in between a motorcycle goes buzzing by. I love the sounds of America.
We built our house in an open lot in the middle of the block, far from the roads but just an almond orchard away from the high school. The location has served us very well. We can walk up to the school for meetings and events (the children always drive). Parents like letting their kids stay here, because we're so near the school. Post-game fireworks can be watched from our driveway.
The football team went 10-0 and is now in Sac-Joaquin Section Division III playoffs against a team from way down in Vallejo, over an hour's drive. No idea how it's going. Tempted to take my Burning Man bike and turn all the colorful lights on and ride up to see. All the cool kids are up there.
That's a difference from my hometown. Not that I knew the cool kids, or even who they were, but I never heard about them going to the football games. I only did when we had a pep band. That was fun. We were good, too. At an away game once we were so dismissive of the opposing band the eight of us marched around to their side of the field and played the Mickey Mouse theme song. Got in trouble for that.
* * *
My kid Skzx started a club at school. It's all about camping. Tomorrow early they're going to Dillon Beach for a couple nights. Parents too. The 19 year old, Sk8r, and I will have the house to ourselves. Might not see each other much, or at all.
I've got four days' writing to catch up on. That means six to do -- ten thousand words -- by Sunday. I'm not a fast writer. I don't want to spend the whole damn weekend at it. But a goal is a goal and frankly, my kids will take me for a weenie if I don't make it.
* * *
Another writing place. My other grandfather's old desk. Backed up to the headboard (bed's not against any walls). Can see the TV from there, and open a curtain to the outside, and have tea and ice cream, and stack books. Doesn't work out as well as the typewriter table upstairs.

Progress chart, kind of showing my behindness.
We built our house in an open lot in the middle of the block, far from the roads but just an almond orchard away from the high school. The location has served us very well. We can walk up to the school for meetings and events (the children always drive). Parents like letting their kids stay here, because we're so near the school. Post-game fireworks can be watched from our driveway.
The football team went 10-0 and is now in Sac-Joaquin Section Division III playoffs against a team from way down in Vallejo, over an hour's drive. No idea how it's going. Tempted to take my Burning Man bike and turn all the colorful lights on and ride up to see. All the cool kids are up there.
That's a difference from my hometown. Not that I knew the cool kids, or even who they were, but I never heard about them going to the football games. I only did when we had a pep band. That was fun. We were good, too. At an away game once we were so dismissive of the opposing band the eight of us marched around to their side of the field and played the Mickey Mouse theme song. Got in trouble for that.
* * *
My kid Skzx started a club at school. It's all about camping. Tomorrow early they're going to Dillon Beach for a couple nights. Parents too. The 19 year old, Sk8r, and I will have the house to ourselves. Might not see each other much, or at all.
I've got four days' writing to catch up on. That means six to do -- ten thousand words -- by Sunday. I'm not a fast writer. I don't want to spend the whole damn weekend at it. But a goal is a goal and frankly, my kids will take me for a weenie if I don't make it.
* * *
Another writing place. My other grandfather's old desk. Backed up to the headboard (bed's not against any walls). Can see the TV from there, and open a curtain to the outside, and have tea and ice cream, and stack books. Doesn't work out as well as the typewriter table upstairs.

Progress chart, kind of showing my behindness.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Stuff to Post While I Gear Up To Write Some More
High keening and whining sounds from outside. I open the window. It's from down in the creek bed, along with yip yip yips and a rough dysphonius barking. The gang is passing through. I wonder what ever became of our beautiful cat Jet, Lucky's mother, who walked away one year. Used to see her hiding in the weeds now and then.
* * *
I was sitting comfortably in the men's room today when someone dashed into the next stall and made unhappy sounds while dumping about three buckets' worth of leftovers into the toilet. And then did it again. Didn't bother me at all. I am so glad I raised children.
* * *
One of my writing locations.
The table is my fave. It was my grandfather's typewriter table. He kept it out in his office when he was foreman on a farm during the Depression. Before the crash he was a newspaperman -- maybe that's where he got it, I don't know.

Zooming in on the nifty sticker a NaNoWriMo Municipal Liaison gave me ...
* * *
I was sitting comfortably in the men's room today when someone dashed into the next stall and made unhappy sounds while dumping about three buckets' worth of leftovers into the toilet. And then did it again. Didn't bother me at all. I am so glad I raised children.
* * *
One of my writing locations.
The table is my fave. It was my grandfather's typewriter table. He kept it out in his office when he was foreman on a farm during the Depression. Before the crash he was a newspaperman -- maybe that's where he got it, I don't know.
Zooming in on the nifty sticker a NaNoWriMo Municipal Liaison gave me ...
Labels:
aminals,
NaNoWriMo,
perpetual picture-taking,
wha-a-atever,
writing
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Presidential Prototype?
Sir Joseph Porter and his Old Man

I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!
Business As Usual
It's pretty clear by now I was never caught up in the Obama thrill. I never really saw what was new about him other than being the child of a man born in another country (a plus, if anything). All the fine talk rang hollow, and I'm suspicious of popularity anyway. That's all by the way: I'm perfectly fine with him being President -- he's an amazing person and so long as he doesn't end up under the thumb of those legendary Washington interests, he'll make his mark.
So long as he doesn't. If he's serious about appointing Hillary as SecState, I think we can all agree that dream is officially over: The consummate power player, and wife of an ex-President whose fingers are in every lucrative pie in the world, being named Secretary of State. It was a fun little revolution, wasn't it? I hope you enjoyed it.
It's a little early but I'm thinking Daniels/Rice 2012. I don't like Jindal -- he's a creationist nutjob -- or ANY of those clowns who ran against McCain. I admire Dr. Rice completely, and Daniels, recently re-elected governor of Indiana, has a get-it-done tight-budget reputation. That's all I know. It's enough for now.
So long as he doesn't. If he's serious about appointing Hillary as SecState, I think we can all agree that dream is officially over: The consummate power player, and wife of an ex-President whose fingers are in every lucrative pie in the world, being named Secretary of State. It was a fun little revolution, wasn't it? I hope you enjoyed it.
It's a little early but I'm thinking Daniels/Rice 2012. I don't like Jindal -- he's a creationist nutjob -- or ANY of those clowns who ran against McCain. I admire Dr. Rice completely, and Daniels, recently re-elected governor of Indiana, has a get-it-done tight-budget reputation. That's all I know. It's enough for now.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Musing
Took the dog for a walk today
Took my wife to the matinee
Took my mom to the high school play
And now we host the cast par-tay
* * *
Idly surfing for evidence of people making their escape. Crawled along an intertube and found pictures of the one SCA event I ever went to.
I'll not forget it. I was desperate to be a part of medievalist activities. I had been to the Renaissance Faire. I was a geek and a reader of Sword & Sorcery and terribly lonely. But I had a nicely compliant girlfriend and she wore a peasant dress and I rented some tights and we took the bus from North Berkeley up into Kensington for a Twelfth Night Revel.
January 4, 1975 -- There are pictures of the event, pretty much as I remember it. I'm not in any pictures. We floated on the periphery, shy and uninvolved, and then fled once my inability to merge became terminal.
* * *
Laughter fills the hall. The play closed tonight, and all the kids are here, gorged on our food, sprawled in our furniture, intertwined like so many puppies, good kids, girls and boys full of life and energy and love and promise. Right now, at this moment, I hear cheering. Whatever reason.
Out there somewhere, there are kids who are desperate and lonely and cannot merge. But mine are not among them, and for that my gratitude has no limit.
(And those lonely kids have my sympathy, and hopeful thoughts. I can't do anything for them, but I will always know they're out there.)
Took my wife to the matinee
Took my mom to the high school play
And now we host the cast par-tay
* * *
Idly surfing for evidence of people making their escape. Crawled along an intertube and found pictures of the one SCA event I ever went to.
I'll not forget it. I was desperate to be a part of medievalist activities. I had been to the Renaissance Faire. I was a geek and a reader of Sword & Sorcery and terribly lonely. But I had a nicely compliant girlfriend and she wore a peasant dress and I rented some tights and we took the bus from North Berkeley up into Kensington for a Twelfth Night Revel.
January 4, 1975 -- There are pictures of the event, pretty much as I remember it. I'm not in any pictures. We floated on the periphery, shy and uninvolved, and then fled once my inability to merge became terminal.
* * *
Laughter fills the hall. The play closed tonight, and all the kids are here, gorged on our food, sprawled in our furniture, intertwined like so many puppies, good kids, girls and boys full of life and energy and love and promise. Right now, at this moment, I hear cheering. Whatever reason.
Out there somewhere, there are kids who are desperate and lonely and cannot merge. But mine are not among them, and for that my gratitude has no limit.
(And those lonely kids have my sympathy, and hopeful thoughts. I can't do anything for them, but I will always know they're out there.)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
21825
Not knowing how I managed to write over 2.5k today. Worked until 6:30, went to a coffee shop meetup close by, gurgled my empty tummy with a frapp, typed in concert with other typers. Heard via cell phone our high school was whomping butt in their last game (closed the reg. football season 10-0). Went home, wrote some more, hot tub, wrote again. Stopped when I surpassed yesterday's goal (50k*13/30=21666), not a bad start to the weekend. 'Cept it's to be a busy weekend, may not get aheader. Whatev. The story grows tendrils within itself, gels, will become a living thing if not let starve too soon or too long.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Crossroads
Taking a break from writing, cruising Burning Man pics at Flickr. Found a piece of home.
The blue thing is the Exploratorium, a mobile dance floor complete with stripper pole and quadruple propane-powered flame jets. I cannot describe how fun it is to cruise around that dusty adult theme park in that thing in the middle of the night. (Under the floor are the functional remains of a Japanese pickup truck.)
It sits at the corner of 7:30 and Bonneville. The prairie schooner is across the intersection. Somewhere under all that wood it's motivated by a large pickup.
The girl is carrying ice and her outfit reminds me why I want to go back.
The blue thing is the Exploratorium, a mobile dance floor complete with stripper pole and quadruple propane-powered flame jets. I cannot describe how fun it is to cruise around that dusty adult theme park in that thing in the middle of the night. (Under the floor are the functional remains of a Japanese pickup truck.)
It sits at the corner of 7:30 and Bonneville. The prairie schooner is across the intersection. Somewhere under all that wood it's motivated by a large pickup.
The girl is carrying ice and her outfit reminds me why I want to go back.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Casino Royale
I don’t have to tell you what sort of icon James Bond has become. International adventure, sex, bad humor, fast cars, gadgetry -- ever since Ursula Andress came dripping out of the surf in the first major film and the bad guy got the point. The movies were always entertaining, but got steadily more ridiculous from there.
I’ve always been fascinated with the real Bond, the original, as told in the novels and short stories written by Ian Fleming. After watching the most recent movie on DVD, Casino Royale, I was curious to see how closely it followed the book. I read it years ago. Times have changed, I’ve changed – it was time to read it again.
It is Fleming’s first novel, written in 1952 when he had no idea if the effort would pay off. Often I’m much more interested in an author’s early work, produced before his imagination is spoiled by success. My copy is a Signet paperback, fifty cents new, printed in 1964 after Fleming’s death but before his last novel, which “will be published in the spring of 1965.” I got it used about thirty years ago, at Holmes Books down in Oakland, a wonderful old store piled with old books moldering away in the grimy windows’ dim daylight.
The best thing about reading old Bond books, beyond the writing itself, is the necessity to disconnect this James Bond from the caricature that has developed since the 1960s. The real James Bond was a World War II vet, a naval commander with some experience in behind-the-lines espionage, not too far removed from Fleming himself. Going only from this book, I’d say he was born somewhat before 1920 – this because he bought his first car in 1933, a slightly-used supercharged Bentley (analogous perhaps to a modern Bond starting out with, say, a 1985 Rover Vitesse), and he must have been at the least a precocious teenager by then. Thus for the book he’s in his early to mid thirties and has had the unfortunate experience of having had to kill a couple of men late in the war – thus the double-oh distinction. He was not chosen for the assignment because of his mad secret agent skilz and ability to slaughter a dozen bad guys while seducing countesses and straightening his tie. He was chosen because he was known to be a good and serious gambler, especially at cards, and a gambler was what the assignment called for.
I love the simplicity and the absurdity of this story. Le Chiffre was a stateless man, one of many thousands wandering about Europe in those days, whose country of origin either no longer existed or was simply deemed irrelevant by those who took post-war chaos as an opportunity to reinvent themselves. His earliest known address was Dachau, June, 1945. His role was as paymaster to a communist organization in control of various French labor unions. He invested Soviet money into a chain of brothels and lost his ass when the French upgraded their blue laws. In a bid to recoup his employers’ losses and save his own neck, he sets up a high-stakes game of baccarat at Casino Royale on the French coast. It’s Bond’s job to beat him.
This Bond has no gadgets; there is no Q Branch presided over by a doddering über-engineer. He has only his small Beretta .25 under his arm. Vesper Lynd does not start out as some winking Bond Girl but is a bureaucratic fellow employee who grows on him naturally. In other words, they don't immediately like each other, but after a bit of personal sparring he admits to himself he wants to get her into bed -- as any self-respecting reader in the golden age of men’s adventure magazines would expect. In time he actually falls in love with her and decides to quit the service and marry her.
This plan falls through.
Meanwhile, Le Chiffre and his two henchmen, their rickety old Peugeot, the ill-kept rental house where Bond is tortured (just as in the recent movie), are all decidedly and unpretentiously low-tech. The only honest gadget in the entire book, apart from a botched bomb plot early on, is a cane gun such as you used to be able to buy in any novelty firearms shop. There isn’t even any cheating at cards -- Orson Wells and his x-ray specs are not to be found.
Like old movies, old books are time machines. I love my Bond trips into the 1950s. I’d love to see a period movie based strictly on one of the original novels. It would be so very back to basics. For all its half century of updating, the recent film follows the book reasonably well, and this is a major reason why it is one of the best of the James Bond movies.
* * *
I was at work trying to organize my crap when I found this little essay, written several months ago. I had an intent to say more about the Bond character and illustrate it with some juicy quotes. But in retrospect that would be superfluous, so here and done. Now to go organize more of my crap.
I’ve always been fascinated with the real Bond, the original, as told in the novels and short stories written by Ian Fleming. After watching the most recent movie on DVD, Casino Royale, I was curious to see how closely it followed the book. I read it years ago. Times have changed, I’ve changed – it was time to read it again.
It is Fleming’s first novel, written in 1952 when he had no idea if the effort would pay off. Often I’m much more interested in an author’s early work, produced before his imagination is spoiled by success. My copy is a Signet paperback, fifty cents new, printed in 1964 after Fleming’s death but before his last novel, which “will be published in the spring of 1965.” I got it used about thirty years ago, at Holmes Books down in Oakland, a wonderful old store piled with old books moldering away in the grimy windows’ dim daylight.
The best thing about reading old Bond books, beyond the writing itself, is the necessity to disconnect this James Bond from the caricature that has developed since the 1960s. The real James Bond was a World War II vet, a naval commander with some experience in behind-the-lines espionage, not too far removed from Fleming himself. Going only from this book, I’d say he was born somewhat before 1920 – this because he bought his first car in 1933, a slightly-used supercharged Bentley (analogous perhaps to a modern Bond starting out with, say, a 1985 Rover Vitesse), and he must have been at the least a precocious teenager by then. Thus for the book he’s in his early to mid thirties and has had the unfortunate experience of having had to kill a couple of men late in the war – thus the double-oh distinction. He was not chosen for the assignment because of his mad secret agent skilz and ability to slaughter a dozen bad guys while seducing countesses and straightening his tie. He was chosen because he was known to be a good and serious gambler, especially at cards, and a gambler was what the assignment called for.
I love the simplicity and the absurdity of this story. Le Chiffre was a stateless man, one of many thousands wandering about Europe in those days, whose country of origin either no longer existed or was simply deemed irrelevant by those who took post-war chaos as an opportunity to reinvent themselves. His earliest known address was Dachau, June, 1945. His role was as paymaster to a communist organization in control of various French labor unions. He invested Soviet money into a chain of brothels and lost his ass when the French upgraded their blue laws. In a bid to recoup his employers’ losses and save his own neck, he sets up a high-stakes game of baccarat at Casino Royale on the French coast. It’s Bond’s job to beat him.
This Bond has no gadgets; there is no Q Branch presided over by a doddering über-engineer. He has only his small Beretta .25 under his arm. Vesper Lynd does not start out as some winking Bond Girl but is a bureaucratic fellow employee who grows on him naturally. In other words, they don't immediately like each other, but after a bit of personal sparring he admits to himself he wants to get her into bed -- as any self-respecting reader in the golden age of men’s adventure magazines would expect. In time he actually falls in love with her and decides to quit the service and marry her.
This plan falls through.
Meanwhile, Le Chiffre and his two henchmen, their rickety old Peugeot, the ill-kept rental house where Bond is tortured (just as in the recent movie), are all decidedly and unpretentiously low-tech. The only honest gadget in the entire book, apart from a botched bomb plot early on, is a cane gun such as you used to be able to buy in any novelty firearms shop. There isn’t even any cheating at cards -- Orson Wells and his x-ray specs are not to be found.
Like old movies, old books are time machines. I love my Bond trips into the 1950s. I’d love to see a period movie based strictly on one of the original novels. It would be so very back to basics. For all its half century of updating, the recent film follows the book reasonably well, and this is a major reason why it is one of the best of the James Bond movies.
* * *
I was at work trying to organize my crap when I found this little essay, written several months ago. I had an intent to say more about the Bond character and illustrate it with some juicy quotes. But in retrospect that would be superfluous, so here and done. Now to go organize more of my crap.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
15004
An all-day slog. Some of it was enjoyable creativity, some of it just work. Sometimes you get to paint the model, sometimes you have to work on the background. Twice this weekend I went to meet other afflicted souls at local coffee shops, group meetings arranged through the website forum. Shared tables, drank mocha (my fave cause I've no pretension to maturity), made humorous cracks as appropriate. They were nice folks and to be in the company of people typing madly away was helpful for my focus and attention issues. All right, my shitty discipline, if you don't like me trying to sound all clinical about it.
How goes it? The plot thickens. It's terrible because I've neither read about nor experienced the situation I'm creating, but so what. A more realistic cast can be cast in when folded and refried later. Meanwhile I am exactly on schedule, which means I'll be way behind by the weekend. Par for the course.
How goes it? The plot thickens. It's terrible because I've neither read about nor experienced the situation I'm creating, but so what. A more realistic cast can be cast in when folded and refried later. Meanwhile I am exactly on schedule, which means I'll be way behind by the weekend. Par for the course.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
So Then What
I haven't had a lot of time but that isn't really my excuse for falling behind. I was wondering why I am so unable to go forward and then suddenly I realized: My story idea, the thing I'm trying to write, bores me. To death. I'm just not interested. So I guess the trick is to make a change so that I get interested. Nothing comes to mind. (Reading bores me too. Everything does. I know the problem but this blog is not the place for explicating the truth.)
Thursday, November 06, 2008
NaNoMoment 7279
At 7,279 I was about at about 40% through yesterday's pace when I fled for bed. Tonight is opening night for each of my sons, in different theaters in different towns. So we are going to one tonight and the other tomorrow. I expect to be significantly behind the pace by the time Saturday affords me the chance to catch up. Such is this crazy thing.
Plotwise I have the big picture but must fill it in with lots of little pictures. I am so out of practice and mentally distracted by work that I have a hard time picturing it. That makes it a struggle. My thought processes are visual. I'm not good at remembering intangibles or processes or flows of relationship from my life such that I can inform fiction. All I really have to work with is pictures. Probably my outlet should be music and video rather than writing, I don't know. Not an acceptable excuse this month.
Was all excited when a good subplot occurred to me with which I could move things forward. Shortly I realized this highlighted the fact I never studied literature, else I wouldn't have felt like I thought of it myself. Also I would have thought of it sooner and more often.
No time to read. I feel as though I should have read a LOT more books in my life. I don't even have a favorite author. The few I've read enough to form an opinion of all have some major flaw or other, and I don't remember the rest.
When you write, can you get lost in it, and then translate that alternate reality through your fingers, across the screen and into storage? When I was a child, writing gave me the opportunity to get lost in fantasy. For awhile I felt if I tried hard enough, my fantasy world would become more real than the world I wanted to escape. So I wrote and wrote and wrote. It didn't work: reality remained real. Eventually I had to make concessions to reality -- dropped in and out of college, had jobs, started getting acquainted with other human beings -- and over time lost that ability to get lost in the fantasy.
But good writers probably don't get lost in it either. It's a matter of marshaling mental resources and discipline and productivity -- like a job. But a job flexible and free, at least, for the luckier ones.
So this struggle with writing productively without being able to get lost in it is part of the growth needed to become a writer. I get that. I get that the inability to escape is inescapable.
But does that have to make it so hard? :-)
Plotwise I have the big picture but must fill it in with lots of little pictures. I am so out of practice and mentally distracted by work that I have a hard time picturing it. That makes it a struggle. My thought processes are visual. I'm not good at remembering intangibles or processes or flows of relationship from my life such that I can inform fiction. All I really have to work with is pictures. Probably my outlet should be music and video rather than writing, I don't know. Not an acceptable excuse this month.
Was all excited when a good subplot occurred to me with which I could move things forward. Shortly I realized this highlighted the fact I never studied literature, else I wouldn't have felt like I thought of it myself. Also I would have thought of it sooner and more often.
No time to read. I feel as though I should have read a LOT more books in my life. I don't even have a favorite author. The few I've read enough to form an opinion of all have some major flaw or other, and I don't remember the rest.
When you write, can you get lost in it, and then translate that alternate reality through your fingers, across the screen and into storage? When I was a child, writing gave me the opportunity to get lost in fantasy. For awhile I felt if I tried hard enough, my fantasy world would become more real than the world I wanted to escape. So I wrote and wrote and wrote. It didn't work: reality remained real. Eventually I had to make concessions to reality -- dropped in and out of college, had jobs, started getting acquainted with other human beings -- and over time lost that ability to get lost in the fantasy.
But good writers probably don't get lost in it either. It's a matter of marshaling mental resources and discipline and productivity -- like a job. But a job flexible and free, at least, for the luckier ones.
So this struggle with writing productively without being able to get lost in it is part of the growth needed to become a writer. I get that. I get that the inability to escape is inescapable.
But does that have to make it so hard? :-)
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Obamanic Relations
According to genealogical research summarized here, our President-elect is distantly related to the following people. It all goes to show if we all had professional genealogists tracing connections, we’d realize we are all FAMILY.
And all this just from his mother's side.
I only put names of people I’ve heard of, and I put them as I know them.
Yeah, I know, finding all these links was a terrible waste of precious NaNo time. Sue me.
And all this just from his mother's side.
I only put names of people I’ve heard of, and I put them as I know them.
Yeah, I know, finding all these links was a terrible waste of precious NaNo time. Sue me.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Emotional Mixtures
Honestly. Though I voted McCain, and regard Obama as a politician first, a leader second, and a man of conscience somewhere out beyond third, he's brilliant, he's young, he's historic, and by the time I was home watching returns I was hoping he'd win.
“Marvin ... What do we do now?” -- Bill McKay
Enjoy the honeymoon -- interesting times ahead, as always, especially when he returns to the values he strayed from to win this thing. Congratulations President Obama!
“Marvin ... What do we do now?” -- Bill McKay
Enjoy the honeymoon -- interesting times ahead, as always, especially when he returns to the values he strayed from to win this thing. Congratulations President Obama!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Spirits
Election Eve
Tonight is the crest
From now through tomorrow the roller coaster will be in freefall
Our breath will be taken as gravity recedes
And finally late in the night when the results are called
We’ll come to rest

In the new dawn’s early light, expect nothing. Whatever the results, they don’t change what you can do. Rely on yourself and on the community you build. As a favorite philosopher sings:
Tonight is the crest
From now through tomorrow the roller coaster will be in freefall
Our breath will be taken as gravity recedes
And finally late in the night when the results are called
We’ll come to rest

In the new dawn’s early light, expect nothing. Whatever the results, they don’t change what you can do. Rely on yourself and on the community you build. As a favorite philosopher sings:
There is no political solution
To our troubled evolution
Have no faith in constitution
There is no bloody revolution
I'm Missing All The Fun
This is like three miles from my house. Mild in-country suburbanites are rioting over same-sex marriage. Agh. I guess the good news is, since it takes two to tangle, this means plenty of people even out here are against Prop 8. But the pro peeps are highly motivated too: they think they are rescuing civilization from itself. However the vote goes, this will not be the end of it.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
PuDaNaNoDiMo II

Finally. And I’m going to do this EVER DAY for a MONTH? Ack.
I’ll need to get more sleep. We partied with our Burn buds last night and got home about five PDT. Kind of appreciated the extra hour when I woke up in PST. Now it’s all a blur of rain and multicolored flame and cookies and beer and whisky and gin and loud music and inappropriate costumes and walking on stilts and hot chicks french-kissing and fireside guitar-playing and naked people in a hot tub. Not just another night on the left coast, though it sounds like it, huh. [3,362]
PuDaNaNoDiMo
It's explained elsewhere. I won't be doing the Da part.
So, like, I've written zero today. Actually whining about it to the whole wide web rather than just to everyone within hearing is intended to force my motor to start. I had no ideas but I did do something interesting this year and decided what the hell, I'll just write about that but change the names. So now I'm embarking on a sort of Lethal Attraction at Burning Man kind of idea. It shouldn't be impossible, either in the twelfth draft or in the hands of a competent writer, to give Black Rock City a sinister cast. It is, after all, dark and full of hiding places and absolutely built out of anonymity. But the story can't get dark for a long time. Right now I'm just sort of remembering it in fictional form, and already I've noticed how cleverly my conversations reveal the tensions between the middle-aged protagonist and his wife. I'm inventive like that. :P
Thing that stops me is, fictionalizing memory is fine, but what pulls the reader? What's the point of Scene II, if I've already established who's who in Scene I? What's going to happen, what little snippet of information, that will be enormously important later, is going to be revealed while banging the virgin gong at the gate? And now
*slap* *slap*
Wake up, you fool! It's National Novel Writing Month! You don't try to write well! You don't waste any time having it make sense! Just write the fucking thing!
But
*slap*
So, like, I've written zero today. Actually whining about it to the whole wide web rather than just to everyone within hearing is intended to force my motor to start. I had no ideas but I did do something interesting this year and decided what the hell, I'll just write about that but change the names. So now I'm embarking on a sort of Lethal Attraction at Burning Man kind of idea. It shouldn't be impossible, either in the twelfth draft or in the hands of a competent writer, to give Black Rock City a sinister cast. It is, after all, dark and full of hiding places and absolutely built out of anonymity. But the story can't get dark for a long time. Right now I'm just sort of remembering it in fictional form, and already I've noticed how cleverly my conversations reveal the tensions between the middle-aged protagonist and his wife. I'm inventive like that. :P
Thing that stops me is, fictionalizing memory is fine, but what pulls the reader? What's the point of Scene II, if I've already established who's who in Scene I? What's going to happen, what little snippet of information, that will be enormously important later, is going to be revealed while banging the virgin gong at the gate? And now
*slap* *slap*
Wake up, you fool! It's National Novel Writing Month! You don't try to write well! You don't waste any time having it make sense! Just write the fucking thing!
But
*slap*
Saturday, November 01, 2008
1717
I find it a total struggle: Writing is so often like pulling teeth. Even here on Day Number One, when a million people are streaming words by the thousand, far from their mid-month wall, I find myself stuck. Stopped. I wonder if it's the calcification of my imagination, which is neither so flexible nor so fearless as it used to be; or maybe I'm just distracted by aspects of life that can't yet be dealt with. Whatever: It's nothing a million other people don't deal with, even if we add the inevitable doubts, doubts inspired by the fact that the back of my mind continues to arrange Beatles songs for a capella quartet, that I'm annoyed at how ramshackle I've let the chicken coop become, that now could be a really good time to catch up on work. And not even those doubts about what I really should spend my time doing, what was I really put on this Earth to do, set me apart from any other writer. No indeed. Work ethic, focus, discipline, fundamental ability -- these may set me apart, but I know the doubts do not.
One Point Two Five Percent
I thought about going to a kickoff party and thought about not going, and going, and not going, and didn't go because my Miz started watching a scary movie on FX and I couldn't leave her like that in a big empty house and anyway I wanted to see how it turned out. I didn't know anyone at the party I didn't go to. Someone threw his house open to the internet in honor of NaNoWriMo and I thought, why not, maybe it would be inspiring. Or an off the cuff social exercise. Something. But moot, now.
At midnight my son and I were browsing university web sites but then he went to bed and I looked at my laptop and it looked at me and we agreed I hadn't given any serious thought at all to this thing. But that doesn't really matter. In most novels you just follow someone around doing their life and things happen and because it's a novel they are novel things and off you go. So I just did a little of that and can now go to bed where I freaking belong. [625]
p.s. - The blue widget is supposed to have my NaNo username where it says "Participant" and my wordcount where it says "0". Web technology bah.
At midnight my son and I were browsing university web sites but then he went to bed and I looked at my laptop and it looked at me and we agreed I hadn't given any serious thought at all to this thing. But that doesn't really matter. In most novels you just follow someone around doing their life and things happen and because it's a novel they are novel things and off you go. So I just did a little of that and can now go to bed where I freaking belong. [625]
p.s. - The blue widget is supposed to have my NaNo username where it says "Participant" and my wordcount where it says "0". Web technology bah.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
South Park Hip
Got it somewhere. I dunno. Oh, here: www.sp-studio.de/

I tried to make it look like me. I'm unimaginative like that. (I don't know where those earring-looking things came from. I do not have earrings.)
NaNo looms. People in the forums are all excited. I'm not. Attitude. Well, I haven't posted in over a week. Go figure.
Everywhere I go, "Yes on 8" posters, signs, bumper stickers. Depressing.
People say this election is defining somehow, extremely important. Know what? It isn't. Global events are moving beyond America's ability to direct them. This coming time of retraction will not in History's light be our finest hour. But it's necessary. Recharge, rediscover.
As much as I believe he's a con man, Mr. O will make a good President. A full-D government counter-balanced by a large and angry minority of neo-conservatives will make for interesting times, not much like we've seen before.
Enough politics. See how easy that happens?
Does anyone else miss Roy's blog?
Recently I went to the 60th birthday of the place where I had my first job. For three weeks after high school I was in weed abatement at SID. Drove ancient trucks atop narrow levees and bathed the sedge and dallasgrass in herbicides. Daydreamed the entire time about space colonies. I was seventeen. I'd had zero preparation for life and was fired after three weeks. Didn't get the work concept, basically.
But I have fond memories. My brother worked there too once, when he got out of high school. Our uncle worked there for years. Our cousin works there now. And our grandfather was the Secretary / General Manager in the '60s. Close as we'll ever come to a family business.
One of those places that built this state. Most simply put, SID manages the water coming down Cache Creek for the benefit of Solano County agriculture. Built the dam that in 1958 or so flooded out the town of Monticello and created Lake Berryessa. Good, constructive, community-type stuff. (Don't you love these obscure local references, given without links or description?)
Sometimes I have much fonder thoughts of organizations like that, than of the relentless scramble for consumer and corporate dollars that the business that employs me boils down to. But only sometimes. I'm not getting soft, really.

I tried to make it look like me. I'm unimaginative like that. (I don't know where those earring-looking things came from. I do not have earrings.)
NaNo looms. People in the forums are all excited. I'm not. Attitude. Well, I haven't posted in over a week. Go figure.
Everywhere I go, "Yes on 8" posters, signs, bumper stickers. Depressing.
People say this election is defining somehow, extremely important. Know what? It isn't. Global events are moving beyond America's ability to direct them. This coming time of retraction will not in History's light be our finest hour. But it's necessary. Recharge, rediscover.
As much as I believe he's a con man, Mr. O will make a good President. A full-D government counter-balanced by a large and angry minority of neo-conservatives will make for interesting times, not much like we've seen before.
Enough politics. See how easy that happens?
Does anyone else miss Roy's blog?
Recently I went to the 60th birthday of the place where I had my first job. For three weeks after high school I was in weed abatement at SID. Drove ancient trucks atop narrow levees and bathed the sedge and dallasgrass in herbicides. Daydreamed the entire time about space colonies. I was seventeen. I'd had zero preparation for life and was fired after three weeks. Didn't get the work concept, basically.
But I have fond memories. My brother worked there too once, when he got out of high school. Our uncle worked there for years. Our cousin works there now. And our grandfather was the Secretary / General Manager in the '60s. Close as we'll ever come to a family business.
One of those places that built this state. Most simply put, SID manages the water coming down Cache Creek for the benefit of Solano County agriculture. Built the dam that in 1958 or so flooded out the town of Monticello and created Lake Berryessa. Good, constructive, community-type stuff. (Don't you love these obscure local references, given without links or description?)
Sometimes I have much fonder thoughts of organizations like that, than of the relentless scramble for consumer and corporate dollars that the business that employs me boils down to. But only sometimes. I'm not getting soft, really.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Requiescat
Went to the Civil War again this weekend.
“During the 1860s, following a death in a family, once the funeral was over and the family felt emotionally ready, an announcement would be sent out as to what day they would be ‘at home’ to receive visitors. At that time, friends would call upon the bereaved to offer their condolences. This would allow the family to set a time when they would be ready to face others, and would allow friends an opportunity to visit briefly without feeling they were intruding upon the family.”
- The Journal of the National Civil War Association, Vol. XXX, No. 10, October, 2008
Ken’s widow wore a dark green hoop skirt and a fetching bolero hat and sat with family under a canvas shade. She was in her early thirties. When the company came to visit, in our suspenders and foraging caps, black ribbons pinned to our vests, her eyes filled.
“I met him two years ago,” I said. “He made quite an impression.”
“He does that,” she said.
We had cake and lemonade, served by a large caring matron who was all love and bustle, and chatted with other friends and family. It was interesting how genuine the moment could be in spite of anachronistic dress and manners. Well, the couple met and married as re-enactors, and she had a particular love for the Victorian era, or some aspects of it, and she was surrounding herself with one of her support networks.
I felt the sadness, as one does around the mourning, and thought of loved ones gone, and for a moment would have fallen to crying. But it was my loss less than anyone’s, for I knew him least. So I had more cake. Someone said it was the hardest thing he’d done in so many years re-enacting. I didn’t understand what he meant: There was nothing to do but be with her a little bit, show her the company that her husband was a part of missed him and cared about her. I wondered if he meant he was one of those men who find it difficult when faced with emotion so immediate and graceful. Or maybe I missed something else entirely.
We remembered him in other ways too: set aside an empty chair in camp, wore hats askew as he would do when marching off the field. People are peculiar creatures. Other than that, though, we mostly did the weekend: drank, sweated in heavy blue coats, ignited black powder in the direction of men in gray, took a rest playing dead, drank some more, listened to very old-time band music, endured uncomfortable shoes, slept in canvas tents, ate out of an iron pot, and leaned back on hay bales with our feet near the fire, tin cups full, watching fireworks go off among the warm farm-country stars.
There are a lot of parallels between Burning Man and pretending it’s 1863. Ren Faires too, no doubt; but I will have to be happily unemployed before there’s time to add that too to the mix. Meanwhile, I'm grateful to sometimes have precious moments that can be captured forever, because a time will come before we know it when they will be no more.
“During the 1860s, following a death in a family, once the funeral was over and the family felt emotionally ready, an announcement would be sent out as to what day they would be ‘at home’ to receive visitors. At that time, friends would call upon the bereaved to offer their condolences. This would allow the family to set a time when they would be ready to face others, and would allow friends an opportunity to visit briefly without feeling they were intruding upon the family.”
- The Journal of the National Civil War Association, Vol. XXX, No. 10, October, 2008
Ken’s widow wore a dark green hoop skirt and a fetching bolero hat and sat with family under a canvas shade. She was in her early thirties. When the company came to visit, in our suspenders and foraging caps, black ribbons pinned to our vests, her eyes filled.
“I met him two years ago,” I said. “He made quite an impression.”
“He does that,” she said.
We had cake and lemonade, served by a large caring matron who was all love and bustle, and chatted with other friends and family. It was interesting how genuine the moment could be in spite of anachronistic dress and manners. Well, the couple met and married as re-enactors, and she had a particular love for the Victorian era, or some aspects of it, and she was surrounding herself with one of her support networks.
I felt the sadness, as one does around the mourning, and thought of loved ones gone, and for a moment would have fallen to crying. But it was my loss less than anyone’s, for I knew him least. So I had more cake. Someone said it was the hardest thing he’d done in so many years re-enacting. I didn’t understand what he meant: There was nothing to do but be with her a little bit, show her the company that her husband was a part of missed him and cared about her. I wondered if he meant he was one of those men who find it difficult when faced with emotion so immediate and graceful. Or maybe I missed something else entirely.
We remembered him in other ways too: set aside an empty chair in camp, wore hats askew as he would do when marching off the field. People are peculiar creatures. Other than that, though, we mostly did the weekend: drank, sweated in heavy blue coats, ignited black powder in the direction of men in gray, took a rest playing dead, drank some more, listened to very old-time band music, endured uncomfortable shoes, slept in canvas tents, ate out of an iron pot, and leaned back on hay bales with our feet near the fire, tin cups full, watching fireworks go off among the warm farm-country stars.
There are a lot of parallels between Burning Man and pretending it’s 1863. Ren Faires too, no doubt; but I will have to be happily unemployed before there’s time to add that too to the mix. Meanwhile, I'm grateful to sometimes have precious moments that can be captured forever, because a time will come before we know it when they will be no more.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Almost Like Magic
Had our weekly telecom with some gents in Taipei. One of them was commuting and didn’t put his phone on mute: I recognized the train sounds, the roaring wind of the tunnel, the clack of railcars, and especially that annoying high-pitched warning alarm when the doors are about to close. An unexpected and welcome memory.
Sometimes the reach of cellular networks is magical. I could almost smell again the chou doufu ("stinky tofu" -- that part not so welcome).
Sometimes the reach of cellular networks is magical. I could almost smell again the chou doufu ("stinky tofu" -- that part not so welcome).

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Decom
Meh almost won. Decom ran noon to midnight, way down in San Francisco, and motivation was lacking on a sunny but windy Sunday. But we kicked each other in the ass and hit the freeway about two. Rolled into Dogpatch about four thirty. Interesting neighborhood. Found parking next to a warehouse turned art gallery. Walked down the street observing the wind drifts of garbage and the homeless trails leading like deer trails into abandoned lots. Went a few blocks and rounded a corner and went another block and suddenly felt like home.

Other sights while in line:

Inside we went immediately to the bar and looking down at the crowd over drinks I told a guy from Santa Cruz my sudden insight: how much easier it is to relax and enjoy yourself if you are dressed like a total idiot. He laughed and agreed. Of the hundreds of people there, the only ones who didn’t look like they were having fun were the ones not dressed like idiots.

Or at least not having a chocolate syrup fight. I would never say “idiot” to these guys anyway.

It figures that I have no problem asking guys if I can take their picture but just can’t go there with the ladies. My inner creep is in self-denial. But I tried once, sort of, from far away.

Let your imagination perform the extrapolation of erotic exultation in a youthful population.
Speaking of youth, our kids want to move away from us, can’t imagine why.

More random scenery follows.

Just imagine a heavy techno soundtrack, people dancing all over.












You should a gone, you'd a loved it.


Other sights while in line:


Inside we went immediately to the bar and looking down at the crowd over drinks I told a guy from Santa Cruz my sudden insight: how much easier it is to relax and enjoy yourself if you are dressed like a total idiot. He laughed and agreed. Of the hundreds of people there, the only ones who didn’t look like they were having fun were the ones not dressed like idiots.
Or at least not having a chocolate syrup fight. I would never say “idiot” to these guys anyway.

It figures that I have no problem asking guys if I can take their picture but just can’t go there with the ladies. My inner creep is in self-denial. But I tried once, sort of, from far away.

Let your imagination perform the extrapolation of erotic exultation in a youthful population.
Speaking of youth, our kids want to move away from us, can’t imagine why.

More random scenery follows.


Just imagine a heavy techno soundtrack, people dancing all over.












You should a gone, you'd a loved it.