Blogito, ergo sum

Journalist Paul Conley writes:

"I had a conversation a few weeks ago ... in which I said part of the reason I blog is that, for me, the act of blogging has become part of the act of thinking. I'm a writer. And when writers think, we think as writers. Sometimes that means we think with pen in hand. Sometimes not. But it always means we assume there is an audience for our thoughts. It is that single personality trait -- an arrogance of sorts -- that allows us to be writers."

Is this true for you? It is absolutely true for me. Writing is an important part of thinking. A thought or a concept is often much more clear to me once it is before me in print. Many times I've written a paragraph, only to read it and realize that, though the paragraph expressed my thoughts well, they were not thoughts I agreed with.

I take this further. Oftentimes, my thoughts are not clear to me until I speak them. This has not only led to a lifelong struggle to keep from talking to myself as an aid to thinking. It means that in important conversations, much is left unsaid. If I am not confident that what is ready to come out is what I am really thinking, then not much is going to come out. Because spoken words can never be retrieved, I've developed a tremendous conservatism when it comes to spending them. An email, blog entry, weekly report or technical criticism can be backspaced over and verified for truth before it is saved. Not so with anything said. And so, I am silent. Too silent, but what would you? Better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, than speak a provisional thought and ... you know the rest.

The post title (which I wish I had invented, but several thousand people surely thought of it before I did) is not entirely accurate. Blogging does not lend me existence. I lead a huge amount of life that never makes it onto this thing, just as everyone else. But blogging provides a release of sorts, a board to nail my card to, a tree to climb and shout from now and then. No idea why I need that. But I do, and that too is a personality trait that allows me to be, demands that I be, a writer.