Game

The puppy is seven or eight months old and bigger now than the old dog was. We thought he was big. Then we had him sheared. Anyway, she’s all romp and play. The cat is of mixed mind about this.

Baleful stare. “Come closer and I will kill you.”

Tail wag, chin to ground, paws out. “Let’s play!”

Narrow gaze. “Any closer, I will remove your eye.”

Tail wag, playful leap, tongue out. “Let’s play!”

Sidelong glare. “I kid you not. Sliced eyeball.”

Toothy smile, circle jump, pounce position. “Let’s play!”

Slow, dignified walk to create distance. “Come any closer than THAT, I will sever an artery.”

Happy bark, back flip, dance in place. “Let’s play!”

Cat takes three steps forward. Dog runs away off the porch, takes three high-speed turns around the lawn, circles a porch pillar and the legs of all humans nearby, pounces the ground fourteen inches in front of Cat, wags tail, barks again, grins with tongue trailing slobber along the ground. “Yay! Let’s play!”

Cat leaps forward, kung-fu claws slicing the air two millimeters from Dog’s nose, left right right left right in dizzying motion. Dog jumps backward and runs away, emerges seconds later from cloud of dust, slides on all fours beneath Cat’s new position. “Missed! Ha ha! We’re playing!”

Cat curls tail lazily around perch atop railing, licks paw. “Huh. I ain’t playin’ wit chew.”

Stare, sit, stare, stand, look away, wag tail, wander off happily, find disgusting rotten stick to chew on. “We played! Ooh! Dirt flavor!”

Cat looks at humans, eyes half closed. “I win. WE DIDN’T PLAY! But I win.”